When she is sweet she is very very sweet.....

So I have had some funny things happen with Lilly the last few days and since it seems that I only blog about the hard things about her I thought I would add them in here.

Lilly has definitely wanted to make sure that she is heard, seen, felt, etc. by everyone in the family from a young age. Now as she is getting older and is more able to communicate her feelings and frustrations I am realizing how sensitive and soft she really is. I would have told you a year ago that there was NO getting through to her and that you could practically yell in her face (not a common practice) and it wouldn't faze her. But, it does faze her now. She has been able to tell me more what the problem is and what her feelings are and that has helped me tremendously in trying to help her with her "anger issues". I have realized that a lot of her problems stem from being the third wheel with 2 big sisters that frankly don't really want to play with her. And I can't really blame them. Besides being quite a bit younger than they are she hasn't exactly made it fun or enjoyable to spend time with her most often. Hopefully this baby will even things out in a few years.

With that said, she has become the little lover. She is CONSTANTLY telling me how much she loves me and just out of the blue will say things like, "I just love ya". It melts my heart! But I had two opposing experiences with her 2 days in a row. The first day I took her to McDonald's with a friend and her daughter to play during lunch. Unfortunately Lilly fell in with the wrong crowd if you know what I mean. There were about 4 little boys there around her age and older and Lilly decided that she really like playing what they were playing, which was pretend fight. Now I wouldn't have been too concerned except that there was one little boy that DID NOT want to play fight and he kept getting dragged into the scene, not particularly by my daughter but I won't deny that she was a part of the action. This angered his grandmother and I could tell that she was thinking that my kid was a trouble maker.....which maybe she is but she really honestly wasn't trying to pick on anyone or be mean. But it made me laugh because here I am BIG pregnant and I had allowed Lilly to attend McDonald's in her outfit of choice which consisted of a dirty leotard because she had worn it everyday that week. A big polk-a-dot tu-tu and some yellow and grey striped pants underneath. And to top it off she had on 2 mismatching shoes because she insisted that she wear one pair but when we couldn't find the other one I convinced her to at least wear a different shoe and she was happy with that and so I was happy with that. So as I left McDonald's I thought, "That lady must have thought I am the worst mother."

Now here is the opposite situation that happened the next day. I took Lilly to the park to play because it was absolutely gorgeous here. We arrived at the park and Lilly says to me, "Mommy, please make sure that the other kids don't play with me." I asked her why and she said, "I don't want anyone bumping into me or getting in my way." Which I thought was really funny. So I was prepared to have her be the "trouble maker" again when someone tried to play with her. Oddly enough though she was just fine and having a good time running around the playground as I watched with my puffy feet on the bench. There was a dad sitting next to me on the other bench with his little 2 year old daughter. Lilly came running over after having played on the swings for a little bit. Just within ear shot of the dad she says, "MOM! I did it!I am SO proud of myself!" I thought, wow that made me look like a good mom. And then as we were leaving we happen to be leaving at the same time as this dad. And we are walking along and Lilly takes my hand and says, "I love you mommy. Thank you for taking me to the park." I almost wanted to ask the man if he heard her because seriously these moments where I feel like I look like a good mom when I am with her are VERY far and few between. Then we get in the car and she says, "Mom I just love your head." I asked her what she loved about it and she told me she loved my eyes and my mouth etc. It was SO cute!

She is starting to grow-up thankfully and I can tell that she is learning what is acceptable and not acceptable. I think things are just going to take a little longer for her to really grasp onto. But it is starting. I know that she really knows how to push my buttons and what she can get away with and I think that adding this little baby is going to be a wake-up call for her and probably for me as well. I had to leave her at a friends the other day for a doctors appointment. When I went to leave she was not happy that she was going to have to stay and started throwing A FIT! Like a serious fit! And finally my friend had to just pick her up and I had to walk out the door. Of course when I got back my friend said that she stopped crying like 2 minutes after I walked out the door and had been fine. In fact as she was calming down she cozied up to her friend and whispered, "I love you Cassy". I thought that was so sweet.

Maybe I spoke to soon because as I just walked out of the office I found Lilly standing at the top of the stairs. I waved at her and she posed and said, " Mommy I am Jewelfire. The queen of death." Maybe sweet isn't the right word for her.......