Quiet

Well this is my last night of relative quiet at my house. Dustin took the three older girls and headed out to his parents in Idaho for the 4th of July weekend. Ivy and I were supposed to go but at the last minute Dustin and I both realized that neither of us could handle the drive and the trip overall with Ivy. She isn't the easiest baby if you haven't kept up on any of my other posts. And mostly she HATES her car seat and being anywhere other than in my arms or staring at my face. So unfortunately I wasn't able to see my newest little nephew being blessed and I missed the family pictures and I REALLY missed visiting with all my sister-in-laws and mother-in-law and catching up with all the cute little cousins but I really think that my little family benefited greatly from the time apart.

This weekend I was able to really enjoy my baby I feel like for the first time. Things have been crazy since she was born. We have had visitors and family living with us and school ending and summer starting with swim lessons and play practice and sleep overs and I feel like I haven't really been able to just hang with my little one. And this weekend that is all we did. We sat in bed together and giggled and tickled and slept. She ran errands with me and I actually held her in the store and we smiled. I put her down when she was tired and I didn't have to wake her up to get anywhere. Sadly she has seemed a bit happier this weekend. I know she enjoys her sisters but I think even she has enjoyed the mellow quiet that has been our house for 4 days and my undivided attention.

And as for me I knew I needed this weekend away from everything but I didn't realize how much I needed it. I can't thank Dustin enough for taking the kids by himself and giving me the time to be in my house alone (kinda). I have never been left alone in the house by myself. It is usually me who is running around with the kids taking them on road trips and leaving Dustin alone in the house. It was glorious to be able to just clean up at my leisure and it is still clean! And to not have to make a meal for ANYONE BUT MYSELF......WHEN I WAS HUNGRY! And to get caught up on the laundry.And to finally get to the mismatched sock bin that has been in my hallway for months. I know in about 4.2 seconds my house will be a whirlwind again when my kids get home tomorrow night but I think I can take it on now. I think I am ready to have them home.

Dustin was so sweet when they were leaving. I have a REALLY hard time disengaging from my family. I always feel like I need to be there and I need to do everything. And this trip was no different. Even though I really knew that this trip was probably going to send me to the loony bin I kept telling myself that I could go. Finally after multiple break downs and tears Dustin looked at me and told me that I was NOT ALLOWED to go on the trip. And really I had no response. I was kinda stunned. And he just kept insisting that he would not let me go on the trip! And I think I needed someone to force me to disengage and allow me to take care of myself. I can't thank him enough. And he left me with instructions to do nothing but what I wanted to do. He told me not to worry about cleaning anything and to just sleep when the baby is sleeping and to go to the movies and go out to dinner, whatever I wanted to do. Now I did clean but I appreciated the fact that there was no pressure to have anything clean when they got home. No expectations.

Thanks for being such a great father and taking your little girls all by yourself and thank you for being an even better husband and not giving me the option of going in the end! Love you!