WARNING: If anyone let's their kids look at our blog you probably don't want to let them read this post!!!!
Well I had a moment last Sunday. It was a moment that I have not been looking forward to. For those who know me, you know how much I love my holidays. I love everything about pretty much every holiday including all the lies that go along with many of the favorite holidays. By lies I mean, trying to convince our kids that Santa Claus brings presents (even if you don't have a fire place), that the Tooth Fairy really does slip money under your pillow (even if she gets really busy sometimes and doesn't slip it under your pillow for a few nights), and in our family that there are such things as leprechauns that hide chocolate coins on St. Patrick's Day (even if your teacher has told you that leprechauns don't really exist). These are the lies that I love. I love the excitement and the magic of them!
So back to last Sunday. We came home from church and to make a long story short Maddy ended up in tears up in her room after Santa Claus came up in the conversation downstairs. I went up and sat on her bed and asked her why she was so upset. She looked at me with tears running down her face and told me that in her Primary class that day they had been talking about faith and believing in things. She raised her hand and said that she had faith that Santa Claus was real and that she believed in him. And she told me that everyone laughed at her! She was so upset and it made me so upset. I had to fight back the tears! I asked her what she did and she said she just pulled her hat down over her face. Seriously I wanted to cry.
So I was faced with a dilemma. Obviously she is at an age where most kids know that Santa is not real and I needed to decide if I should tell her then and there or try and wait until after Christmas. I decided I was going to tell her and I asked her if she would like to know the truth. She yelled out, "NO!" So I was quiet for a minute and then I told her that I loved to believe in Santa Claus too and that it was really fun to believe in him. So she looked at me and said she wanted to know the truth. So I told her the truth......there really is no Santa Claus. She BURST out into tears and I felt horrible! SO we cuddled for a bit and I tried to make her feel better by telling her that it didn't make Christmas any less exciting and that mommy and daddy still get excited for Christmas even though we know that Santa doesn't exist and that she will still get presents even though she doesn't believe in Santa. This all seemed to make her feel better and she left the room with a smile on her face. I made her promise though that she would NOT tell her sisters because it would ruin it for them and told her she was in the adult club now and that she needed to keep that secret.
So she has been dealing with this news for the past couple of days. Tonight she asked me as I was tucking her in, "Mom, what about the letters from Santa? Do you write those?" I told her that I was the one who wrote them. She seemed a little disappointed and she looked at me and asked if she would get one this year. I asked her if she wanted one and she was adamant that she wanted one. So I told her she would get one and she was very pleased about that. Then a few minutes later she said, "And what about the Tooth Fairy......is she real?" I told her no she wasn't real either. It was mommy and daddy that put money under their pillows. She said she thought maybe that was the truth before because she said she noticed that Santa and the Tooth Fairy had the same handwriting (our tooth fairy always leaves a letter for the first tooth lost). I told her that was my handwriting and then this was the best part. She said that she thought maybe Santa wrote the letters for the Tooth Fairy because she was too little to write them. I thought that was highly creative thinking on her part trying desperately to make something that seems so completely implausible actually possible.
I am now waiting for the Easter Bunny and the leprechauns and I guess we will probably have it all covered. She will officially be out of the magical child knowledge and into the real adult knowledge. She seems to be taking it pretty well. I can't say I have taken it that well. It actually makes me quite sad but I know it's time and I really don't want everyone laughing at her so she needs to know. Ah......but the loss of innocence.......still makes me a little sad.
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6 comments:
ohhhhh...dang it. I'm totally there too. Redden's been asking lots of questions too. Man this is a weird age. If you remind me I'll tell you what I've been dealing with and then you'll feel much better that all you had to talk about was Santa and the tooth fairy. I choose your conversation! I'm sorry, it is kind a sad but at the same time I get not wanting people to laugh at your kid. Redden's in the class, I wonder what he thought...I'll have to ask him. Take care.
Oh, that makes me sad too! What a bummer!
It seems like they will blame you for lying to them all their life! Jadyn has been asking but not wanting to put them together. Parenting doesn't get easier as they get older. You think it's hard when they are little cause they are busy and demanding but I would rather have that.
Good job handling it and making it special for her no matter how the news came. Hang in there!
When other kids are mean to your kids, don't you just want to rip them limb from limb?!? I always hoped that in church, at least, a kid wouldn't have to worry about being laughed at. Let's hope Santa forgets them this year. Hah! That'll show them.
I think the book "The Polar Express" is perfect for those transition years when you're not sure you believe, but you desperately want to hold on to that faith in make-believe that makes childhood so magical. "The Polar Express" seems to say that the BELIEF in Santa is what makes him real. It's kind of like the Narnia series, how when Susan grows up she no longer believes in Narnia, but for the other kids, it's still real because they believe it is.
Oh, man. Why are kids so cruel??? I'm with Maddy--I still want to believe. I love Christmas magic!
Oh that is sad. Growing up is rough. Maybe you can let her stuff the other kids stockings let her see how fun it is to BE SANTA!
Lexi was told y a friend last year- I kept debating on telling her, so I just get answering very evasivly. She finally got sick of me answering like that and really laid it out- there was no way of me getting out of it, I had to answer her. I told her the truth, but I did also tell her there are miracles that happen- some families go to bed at night knowing they don't have anything for Christmas and when they wake up there is stuff there, sometimes outside... so we have to believe. I had a lot of good advice on this last year- I can't remember when I blogged about it- I'll have to find it so you can read the comments, good for the future. I did tell Lexi I thought her friend had a big mouth and I told her to tell her friend I felt that way- could you tell I was mad?! She knows she is not to tell anyone else- if the question comes up she truely believes there is miracles that happen so that's what she is going to say.
Toothfairy- she asked the same time as the whole Santa thing, I told her it was us. This all happened like6 or 7 months ago- I know Baylee wasn't born yet- but I think Lexi forgot, or we traumatized her. She lost a tooth and of course the toothfairy forgot to come- for like 3 weeks!! When the toothfairy has a baby, then the baby blessing with family things get forgotten. Finally when Baylee was 2 months old another mom came up to me and said I hear the toothfairy takes the tooth in your house and doesn't leave any money. I was so confused! Come to find out, the tooth we forgot about fell under her bed, so she thought the toothfairy took it. We took the tooth and put money in it- she thinks she just didn't see the envelope now- whew! I didn't want her to think if she knows the truth she doesn't get the goods- but I'm too chicken to ask her if she remembers the conversation- don't we all block out trerrible things- hopefully she blocks out finding out Santa is her boring parents!
Sheesh- that was a long comment!
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